Subhanallah our brother Karter Zaher wearing the Salah- Justdoit tshirt and Blessed with Imaan snapback spreading a positive Islamic message – Spread Islam with your character
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It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love). When they are united, she bears a light burden and carries it about (unnoticed). When she grows heavy, they both pray to Allah their Lord, (saying): “If Thou gives us a goodly child, we vow we shall (ever) be grateful. (Al Qur’an 7:189)
But when He giveth them a goodly child, they ascribe to others a share in the gift they have received: but Allah is exalted high above the partners they ascribe to Him. (Al Qur’an 7:190)
“Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils, and ever has Satan been to his Lord ungrateful.” [Qur’an 17:27]
What is happening to our Ummah?! O Sisters and Brothers, are you following the Glorious Quran (Words of Allah the Exalted)? Are you striving to please Allah Subhan Wa Ta’ala?
If our beloved Prophet (Peace be upon him) was to visit you for a day…would you be pleased to see him or embarrassed, what do you think he would think about you, would he be proud of YOU?! Are you following and representing Islam wholeheartedly?
Why are so many muslims going astray? What about his great example (Peace and Blessings be upon him) which we have been blessed with, isnt Muhammed (Peace be upon him) our role model? Isnt he the best example we could ever ask for? The answer an undoubtful ‘Yes’, but what exactly have you taken from our beloved Prophet? Who are you following? Who is your idol? Is it a movie star, a singer, an athlete?! Subhan Allah, if only you would learn more about them you would hate to be like them. Who inspires you, who motivates you to excel? Its an important question which each and everyone of us should ask themselves.
One of the major problems I see is ‘Akhlaq’. It is a term derived from the word “Khuluq” meaning the character and the nature, therefore a man’s character would be his qualities and his morals. Here we are refering to the Islamic Charateristics which have been taught to us by our beloved Prophet Muhammed (Peace and Blessings be upon him).
Akhlaq i consider to be at the top of our problem list, its a major issue which needs to be dealt with. By Allah, if we all focused on emulating our beloved Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him), we would witness such great changes within ourselves and from people around us.
is that you do not cause the slightest suffering to the creation of Allah; Allah’s Messenger (Peace and Blessings be upon him) himself gave a beautiful definition of it in the hadith:
“Love for your brother what you love for yourself.”
Are we following this great advice? If not, let’s start today and always remember to continue to perfect your akhlaq. The heaviest of good deeds on the scales on the Day of Judgement are ‘Hosn al Khulq’ (Good Manners).
Narrated Abdullah bin Amr (May Allah be pleased with him): A man asked the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him), “What sort of deeds or traits of Islam are good?” The Prophet (Peace and Blessings be upon him) said, “To feed others, and to greet those whom you know and those whom you do not know.
~ Sahih Al Bukhaari ~
Narrated by Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, ” Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the faults of others and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah’s Worshippers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!).” ~ Sahih Al- Bukhaari ~
A quote worth reading and reflecting upon: Allah (the Exalted) created Angels with intellect but without anger or desire. And created animals with anger and desire but without intellect. And created man with intellect (reason), anger and desire. If man’s reason over powers his anger and desires, he rises to the status of that higher than angels. But if his anger and desires overpower his intellect and reason he becomes lower in status than that of an animal. (I always think about this beautiful quote and it becomes a means to strive to better oneself).
If you fear you are struggling, read the Glorious Quran…it’s a cure for us all. May Allah the Exalted strengthen and guide the Muslim Ummah
Of His Signs is that He sends winds to herald good tidings and that He may give you a taste of His Mercy, and that ships may sail at His bidding, and you may seek His Bounty and give thanks to Him. QURAN [30:46]
Abu Musa (RA) reported: The Messenger of Allah (SW) said to me, “Shall I not guide you to a treasure from the treasures of Jannah?” I said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah!” Thereupon he (SW) said, “(Recite) `La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah’ (There is no change of a condition nor power except by Allah).”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
by Asma bint Shameem [ILoveAllaah.com Exclusive Writer]
Hajj is the most beautiful journey that you will ever undertake in your entire lifetime. And out of those blessed days of Hajj, the one that is the most important, the most crucial, is the day of Arafah, the 9th of Dhul Hijjah. For, it is here, in the vast plain of Arafah, that tears are shed, and sins are washed. And it is here that faults are redressed for those who ask Allah for forgiveness and offer sincere repentance for their wrong doings. Happy is the person who receives the Mercy and Pleasure of Allaah on this particular day. In fact, so important is this day, that if someone misses it, his hajj is not valid as the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم said:
“Hajj is ‘Arafah.” (al-Tirmidhi–saheeh by al-Albaani).
Therefore it is of utmost importance that we make the most of this day and spend it as close as possible to the way of the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم so that we can attain maximum benefit from this glorious day.
Here are some do’s and don’t’s of the day of Arafah:
Do not forget to recite the Talbiyah when you leave Mina for Arafah and continue to do so through out the day of Arafah until the day of Eid. It was proven that the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم continued to recite the Talbiyah until he had stoned Jamarat al-‘Aqabah (the large pillar) on the day of Eid. Some people forget that and thus miss out on this wonderful act of Ibaadah that can only be done during Hajj and Umrah.
What beautiful words they are…
Here I am O Allaah….at Your service….submitting to You, humbling myself to You….ready to make a change in my life….ready to please You….ready to leave everything except You. You are my Lord and I worship no one but You.
Think about the words and the connotations they carry….don’t just say them. Reflect on the meanings…Let the words come deep from your heart….from within your very soul, not just your tongue.
What magnificent words to say on such a majestic day….Subhaan Allaah!
This is the day you’ve been waiting for….the day of Arafah. This is THE DAY to make dua. If there was ever a day to make dua, this is that day. The Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم said:
“The best of du’aa’ is du’aa’ on the day of ‘Arafah.” ( al-Muwatta–hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami)
This is the day you will pour out your heart, and empty your soul to the Lord of the worlds, your Creator, the One Who has given you every single thing you can think of. The One Who has invited you here on this honored day of Arafah, from half way across the world, as His guest.
Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
What an honor! And what a chance to have your duas accepted!
So go ahead. Ask. Stretch out those hands of yours in humble submission. Beseech and implore. He is Allaah, ar-Rahmaan, al-Kareem, the Most-Generous. Surely He will give you.
The best dua for this day:
The Prophet said: “The best of du’aa’ is du’aa’ on the day of ‘Arafah, and the best that I and the Prophets before me said is:
لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له ، له الملك وله الحمد وهو على كل شيء قدير
‘Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wahdahu la shareeka lah, lahu’l-mulk wa lahu’l-hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadeer
(There is no god but Allaah alone, with no partner or associate; His is the dominion, to Him be praise, and He has power over all things).” (al-Tirmidhi–hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb)
The Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم said: “There is no day on which Allaah ransoms more of His slaves from the Fire than the day of ‘Arafah. He draws close then He boasts about them before the angels and says, ‘What do these people want?’” (Muslim)
And you know what? Allah descends to the sky of the Duniya and He boasts about you to the Angels, on this day and says: ‘My slaves have come to Me, looking rough, from every deep valley hoping for My mercy, so if your sins were equivalent to the amount of sand or the drops of rain or like the foam on the sea I will forgive them. So go forth My slaves! Having forgiveness and for what or who you have interceded for.’ (at-Tabarani–hasan by al-Albaani)
Subhaan Allaah! Here is a chance of a lifetime to have all your previous sins forgiven, your record cleared…wiped clean as if you were a newborn…a second chance!
So think of all the sins you may have committed in your life, especially the major ones, make a list of them, (nobody has to see it except you) and ask the Only One Who forgives, al-Ghafoor, at-Tawwaab, to forgive you….urgently…. passionately.
CRY over your sins and don’t let anything stop those tears. Let it all out and plead with Him. Beg for His Mercy. Like a beggar begs….desperate…yet hopeful.
a) feeling regret and shame over those bad deeds,
b) resolve to stop them right away and
c) never ever to return to them.
These are the conditions of sincere tawbah. And all these records which were filled with sins will then be canceled out with His permission.
Obviously the closest we will be to the Sunnah of the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم this day, the more likely that Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala will be pleased with us and accept it from us.
And anything that is not part of the Sharee’ah that the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم brought, is an innovation in the deen and isrejected by Allaah.
It is something that Allaah is NOT pleased with and thus will not be accepted by Him.
As the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم said:
“Whoever does any action that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islaam) will have it rejected.” (Muslim)
Imagine doing something that Allaah is not pleased with, on this glorious day?!! Imagine Allaah turning away from you and your Ibaadah!! Aoodhubillaah.
Surely, there is no one more unfortunate than the one who comes all the way from his home far far away, to Makkah for Hajj, who worked hard gathering his money, making all the arrangements, hoping for reward from Allaah, only to have it rejected because he followed bid’ah!
What a heavy, horrible loss indeed!
BEWARE: Included in the bid’ah are those printed papers with ‘formulas’ and ‘prescriptions’ to be read on the day of Arafah, that are sometimes circulated among the hujjaaj, telling you to read certain supplications one 100 times and certain ayaat one 100 times, picking specific ayaat and duas to be read a specific number of times.
Please, please stay away from such ‘prescriptions’ and ‘formulas’ even if it is supplications from the Sunnah or even ayaat form the Qur’aan.
It is wrong because even though they may be ayaat from the Qur’aan or authentic duas from the Sunnah, yet it is NOT from the practice of the Prophet or the sahaabah that they said these specific duas and ayaat in this manner and a specific number of times, on the day of Arafah.
If it was good, surely the best of creation, the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم, who knew how to worship Allaah the best, certainly would have done so himself and would have certainly told the sahaabah about it.
Yet, there are NO authentic reports that tell us that he صل اللہ عليه و سلم or the sahaabah did any of this.
One may read any ayaat of the Qur’aan, or one may use any of the Sunnah duas, not these specific ones only and one may read them without specifying the number of times they to be read.
There should be no restriction to a specific number or manner.
Just think about it. Would you want to risk doing something that you are not sure of this day?!!
Why not choose those acts of Ibaadah that are for sure, a part of the practice of our beloved Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم and the Sahaabah? Something that is established in our deen in the manner it was done, the times it was done and the places it was done.
Isn’t what the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم did on his hajj, the best example to follow?!!
So if he صل اللہ عليه و سلمdidn’t read these ayaat and duas in this manner and count, we don’t do it either. And his is the best example to follow.
The Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم did not pray any other prayers on this day except combining Dhuhr and Asr at its earlier time. There was no other prayer that he prayed this day. Rather he spent his time making dua. And if he صل اللہ عليه و سلم didn’t do it, that means that there is we shouldn’t do it either.
He صل اللہ عليه و سلم said: “Learn from me your rituals (of Hajj).” (Muslim)
The Ulama said: “The Messenger (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) did not perform any supererogatory prayers on the Day of ‘Arafah after having offered Salaat az-Zhuhr and Salaat al-‘Asr combined and at the time of Zhuhr. And if it was legislated and good then he would have been more careful about performing them than us, and all good is in adhering to following his Sunnah.” (Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa.imah lil-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wal-Iftaa).
Salaat at-Tasbeeh is not proven to be from the Sunnah according to the majority of the Ulama such as Imaam Ahmad, Ibn Taymiyah, al-Nawawi, ibn Qudamah, Ibn Uthaaymeen, etc.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: “Salaat al-Tasbeeh is not prescribed, because the hadeeth is da’eef (weak).”
Imaam Ahmad said there is no sound evidence for it.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said it is a fabrication, and he said that none of the Imaams recommended it.”
So if it is something that is not from the Sunnah, then why do it, especially on an important day like Arafah?
And even if some of the Ulama did regard it as something that can be done, realize that most of the Ulama say that it is not to be read. Now, for something that is doubtful, wouldn’t you want to leave it and worship Allaah in a way that is for sure prescribed in the Sharee’ah?
Would you want to risk your day of Arafah for something doubtful?
Didn’t the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم say? “Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt.” (al-Tirmidhi–Saheeh by al-Albaani)
Thus it is best to leave it and engage in dua, dhikr, etc that is confirmed from the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم
Keep your self busy in the dhikr of Allaah, glorifying Him and being thankful to Him, sending blessings upon the Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم and in dua and istighfaar.
Don’t let a second, yes, a second go by when you are not remembering Him.
This is the way to keep yourself busy this day, with dua, istighfaar and tasbeeh, (“Subhaan Allah”), tahleel (Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah), tahmeed (al-hamdu Lillah), takbeer (Allahu akbar) and Talbiyah, calling upon your Rabb and beseeching Him, until the sun sets.
Please DO NOT waste your time in things like unnecessary talking, mingling, joking, or just passing the time, things that will be of no benefit to you that day.
Taking showers
Some people waste precious time taking showers and more than that…waiting in the long lines to take showers!
Don’t you know that Allaah knows that you are dirty and disheveled? In fact Allaah boasts about you and your dustiness to His angels.
“Allah expresses His pride to His angels at the time of ‘Ishaa’ on the Day of Arafah, about the people of Arafah. He says, ‘Look at My slaves who have come unkempt and dusty.’” (Ahmad–saheeh by al-Albaani).
It’s ok to be a little dusty. That’s the whole purpose of Hajj. To remind ourselves that we will be leaving all the luxuries of this life behind…that we will be resurrected like this, dusty and disheveled one day, that what really matters is what our deeds are like in front of Allaah, not our outward appearances.
Waiting in long lines for food
Some people stand literally for an hour just to get ‘hot food’. Subhaan Allaah. This is Arafah!
You never know when you will get a chance like this again. This is the time to ask Allaah’s forgiveness, to have your sins washed away. This is not the time to eat and drink. That can be done later.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying don’t eat or drink that day. You may eat or drink. All I’m saying is not to stand in lines for long periods of time for food or for anything else.
If one day we eat ‘cold food’ who cares, right? Just utilize your time to the best of your ability.
Climbing up Mount Arafah (Jabal ar-Rahmah)
Some people waste so much time and go to great lengths trying to get to Mount Arafah thinking there is extra reward in touching it, praying there or standing there. There is no such thing. The Prophet صل اللہ عليه و سلم did not climb this mountain or instruct anyone to do so, and he did not approve of anyone climbing it either.
Shaikh Ibn Uthaymeen says: “…climbing this mountain is not prescribed; rather the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, when he stood behind it on the eastern side: “I have stood here and all of ‘Arafah is the place of standing.” It is as if he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was indicating that each person should stand in his own spot and not push and shove in order to reach the place where the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) stood.” Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen)
Similarly, don’t waste your time trying to get masjid Namirah
Yes, although it is Sunnah to pray at Masjid Namirah, it is extremely crowded and usually far from some of the tents. Yet some people go through a lot of hardship and waste a lot of time trying to get there because they think that they have to pray Zuhr and ‘Asr there. This causes them a great deal of hardship and causes crowding etc. Some even get lost and lose even more time. The whole of Arafah is good to pray and stand and make dua. The important thing is to utilize our time there to the maximum and worship Allaah so that He will forgive us.
Once Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez delivered a Khutbah at Arafah and said, “O people, you have come from near and far distances, exhausted your camels, and worn out your clothes. The winner today is not the one whose camel is ahead, but rather it is the one whose sins are forgiven. Praise be to Allaah – the Lord of the worlds.”
May Allaah enable us to worship Him in the best manner possible on the Day of Arafah and every other day. May He accept our Hajj and forgive us. Aameen.
“But you do not exercise you will, except that Allah wills it; for Allah is full of Knowledge and Wisdom.” [Sûrah al-Insân: 30]
Remedy for Masturbation
The anathema of masturbation is very common among young and adolescent boys. One reason for this habit is the unrestricted movement of women on the streets, in the market places and at recreation centres. Women go about in tight-fitting and revealing garments, unmindful of the presence of men.
Obscene scenes in plays and films promote sexual self-indulgence. Periodicals and magazines that contain romantic and sexual matter lead young boys and girls to shamelessness and immodesty. Youngsters who are not inspired by the fear of Allah Ta’ala and of the consequences of their actions, are apt to gratify themselves by committing fornication and other unlawful acts, or by resorting to self-indulgence. These harm the body, the mind and affect one’s psychological health.
These symptoms may vary from person to person and some person may not suffer at all. Again some people may suffer worse than others. So those who don’t suffer should not think these are untrue but should thank God for protecting them from the worse.
Physical Health: A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin, palpitation increases and his memory becomes weak. The digestive system is impaired and inflammation of the lungs occurs. One may also become anaemic. These are the possible symptoms.
Sexual Health: Impotency is the natural outcome of masturbation. A boy who has indulged in the habit of masturbation is not capable of marriage when he grows up. If he does marry, his wife hates him and often husband and wife may divorce. If the woman is pious, she will become depressed and if she is not, she will resort to unlawful acts.
Psychological and Mental Health: A person who masturbates will suffer psychological problems and is liable to mental illnesses like forgetfulness, loss of memory, weak determination, preference for solitude, extreme shyness and fear, being sorrowful and possibly contemplate some serious crime or even suicide.
Injunction of Shari’ah in this regard: The act of masturbation is despicable. It is a grave sin and is unlawful. The noble Qur’aan commands the guarding of private organs. With the exception of sexual intercourse with one’s wife, all forms of sexual satisfaction are unlawful and these include fornication, adultery, homosexuality and masturbation, or any other sexual perversion. On the day of Qiyaamah, the perpetrators of such acts will suffer a dreadful punishment and will be deprived of the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala.
The remedy for this disease: Early marriage is a perfect, beneficial and natural remedy for this dangerous addiction.
Optional Fasts: If, for some reason, it is not possible to marry at an early age, voluntary fasts may be kept. By fasting, lustful thoughts are curbed and thus one’s sexual urge is reduced. Further, fasting promotes fear of Allah Ta’ala and creates humility. There are various kinds of voluntary fasts. One is the Sawm-e-Daawood [the fast of Daawood – Alayhis salaam] which means fasting every alternate day. Fasts can also be observed on Mondays and Thursdays, six days during the month of Shawaal, the ninth and tenth of Muharram, or any other day (besides the five prohibited days).
Shun whatever excites sexual thoughts: Young people destroy themselves when they pursue things that incite emotions and become like animals in fulfilling their desires. It is essential for young people to keep away from gatherings and opportunities that may arouse their sexual passions, or where they may come across women in revealing or tightfitting attire. They must abstain from listening to romantic tales or reading pornographic novels and magazines, hearing music and indecent songs or viewing such films.
Engage in fruitful pursuit: Adolescents and teenagers should not sit alone when they have nothing to do. This will allow their imaginations to run wild and sexual passions will be aroused. They should spend their time properly so that they do not get arousing and lustful ideas. They can keep themselves busy with physical exercise, pure recreation, sensible reading and religious lessons.
Good Company: It is important to select good and pious friends and companions. Such friends may guard us from erring and although they are rare, they are found everywhere. Search for such company and let yourself spend time with them. Remember that people imitate their friends. Therefore, to strengthen your Imaan, character and physique, keep away from evil companions and adopt the company of virtuous people.
Act on medical advice
Doctors of medicine give the following suggestions on how to restrain lustful desires and sexual urges:
• Have cold baths in summer.
• Pour cold water on the penis in other seasons.
• Engage in physical exercises and sports (some doctors recommend special exercises to curb lustful desires)
• Abstain from spices and all types of food that excite sex
• Cut down on tea, coffee and invigorating beverages
• Reduce intake of meat and eggs to a minimum
• Do not lie down flat on the back or on the stomach. Rather lie on the right side in compliance with the Sunnah.
Fear Allah Ta’ala
When fear of Allah Ta’ala is rooted in a person, all sinful and evil acts will be shunned. One will then realise that Allah is always watching, and is aware of everything, whether apparent or hidden. One will take account of every act of disobedience and omission of duty and will know that Allah will punish the disobedient from His Creation.
Young people must attend gatherings where Allah Ta’ala is eulogised. One must offer one’s Fardh Salaat and make it a habit to offer nafl Salaat and recite the Qur’aan on a regular basis. One must cultivate the fear of Allah, the habit of muraaqabah (meditation), and the realisation of Allah’s Majestic Powers. This is possible when one accustoms oneself to rising in the latter portion of the night for the tahajjud Salaat, keeping optional fasts, listening to the chronicles of the Sahaaba [Radhiallaahu anhum], spending time with pious people, keeping contact with the righteous and remembering death and the Hereafter. Therefore, develop such habits so that you are not drawn into temptation and sensuality. Remember that the punishment for disobedience and sinning is the fire of Jahannam.
Masturbation and steps for overcoming it
Masturbation is defined as the manual stimulation of the male or female genitals, not by sexual intercourse, designed to produce an orgasm. Masturbation is totally forbidden in Shari’ah.
One of the most humiliating problems that the constant male masturbator suffers from when he attempts to have sexual relations is premature ejaculation or the failure to maintain an erection. When a person is masturbating, he tends to reach his orgasm as quickly as possible but in sexual intercourse, he normally has to attempt to control his excitement which can impose a great strain on those who indulge in self abuse over a lengthy period.
Those who achieve insufficient satisfaction from sexual intercourse and return to masturbation or never give it up suffer a great torment. Sex life is empty for them, which leads to many more problems, marital disputes, divorce, etc.
Therefore, people who continuously masturbate lose out all round. The physical pleasure becomes reduced to a natural act like urinating or excreting and at the back of their minds there is an awareness that they are missing out on the real pleasures of life. No adult can honestly claim to masturbate without a guilty feeling of complete uselessness. Masturbation is merely an exhaustive rather than constructive undertaking resulting in nothing but total loss. Once orgasm has been achieved, there is nothing left except a feeling of complete emptiness.
Steps in overcoming masturbation
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female. And you can also be cured if you determine that it must be so. If you want to give it up, you need will power and determination. Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘The Niyyat of a believer is better than the act.’
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. Firstly, you must decide that you will end this practice and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish more than knowing that it is good for you. You must realize that this is a great evil and you have to want to give it up.
It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Ask Allah to help you and give you strength and steadfastness to succeed.
After you have made this decision then observe the following specific guidelines.
1. First step is to realize that you are violating Allah’s command and you are bringing upon yourself a life long destruction and harm.
2. Never touch the intimate parts of your body unnecessarily.
3. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s (Shaytaan) workshop.
4. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that both of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things. It is mentioned in a Hadith that a person is upon the way of his friend. (Bukhari, Tirmizi)
5. When you bath, do so as quick as possible.
6. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking and the temptation would leave you. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, engage in something useful. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you focus your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never look at pornographic material.
8. The attitude of the individual has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control this habit. The person must first realize the evil of this act. Secondly he must understand the reason for this behavior.
After these 2 steps, the individual needs to become sensitive to the situations and conditions which may cause a person to commit this vile act. Hence a person must guard himself from anything, which may trigger a desire for this act. By following these steps, a person gains the ability to gain victory from this act, hence the power to control this filthy practice is developed. Remember you need also a bit of will-power.
ADVICES
1. MAKE Duaa daily; seek help from Allah, this will strengthen you against temptation.
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercises. The exercise reduces emotional tension and depression and is absolutely basic to the solution to this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. Set goals of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, a month, a year and finally commit to never doing it again. Till you don’t commit yourself, to never indulging yourself in this vile act, you’ll always be open to temptation.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged, these emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a Kitab, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
8. Start frequenting the Musjid. Make it a daily practice to recite part of the Quraan. Find out about authentic books which you can read from your local Aalim.
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you. Color the day on which you masturbate black. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall in detail what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. In the field of psychotherapy, there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy .When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self control, it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
17. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Shaytaan never gives up. Keep a positive mental attitude and always stay on guard. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do, will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
May Allah give you the power to self-control.
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How to Stop Masturbation
Allah Ta’ala has created man with innate carnal desires, and has made Nikah a lawful and dignified avenue to discharge these desires.
Under normal circumstances, Nikah is Sunnah. If a man’s sexual desires reach a stage where there is a strong fear that he will be involved in Zina (fornication), it will then be Waajib (compulsory) for him to make Nikah. At this juncture, shyness is no excuse. The man will have to approach his elders and request them to make arrangements for his Nikah.
Nikah should not be delayed or avoided for fear of poverty and want. In the Ahaadith, we are told that Nikah creates Barakah in one’s sustenance. Allah Ta’ala has taken it upon himself to assist that person who performs Nikah in order to protect his chastity. Nikah is a simple and inexpensive affair in Islam. The errant customs of societies have made it difficult for others. The solution is to abandon all such customs and conduct the Nikah strictly according to the Sunnah. Nikah, then will not be a burden, rather it will release one from a burden.
The next step would be to guard the gaze. It is, thus, imperative to strictly guard the gaze. Where it is practical, avoid all such situations where ones gaze may fall on Ghayr Mahram (women not prohibited in Nikah) females. TV, books, magazines, internet, newspapers, should be shunned.
Should one’s gaze accidentally fall on some woman, immediately lower the gaze. This is not difficult. It only requires some courage and training. Some points that may assist in this are:
1. Consider that this is not a calamity but rather an opportunity to win a big prize. It is a once in a life opportunity to strike a huge windfall. In the Hadith, we are told that a person, who, after having been tempted, lowers his gaze, Allah Ta’ala will grant him the sweetness of Imaan. What more can one ask for? The one who has the sweetness of Imaan has everything. Others strive their entire life for this very goal of finding the sweetness of Imaan. Here is the opportunity to acquire this in a split second. Therefore, lower the gaze and in your heart make this transaction with Allah Ta’ala that, ‘O Allah! I am lowering my gaze for you. So you grant me your share of the deal, i.e. the sweetness of Imaan.
2. By maintaining the gaze, one is in fact moving to the depths of Jahannum (hell). And by lowering the gaze, one is ascending the highest ranks of Jannah.
3. Consider the reality of the woman at whom one is gazing. If she does not groom herself or apply perfume for one day, she will look dreadful and stink. For a number of days every month she has impurity pouring out of her. If one had to just go near such impurity, one will wish to flee. Imagine if she went to the toilet and forget to flush and, if you had to enter the toilet, will you still have the desire to gaze at her? If this woman does not have Deen, then by raising her arms and exposing her unsightly armpits, she will give out the smell of a skunk. These are some thoughts (although undignified), will assist one in taming the evil desire to look at women.
4. Try as far as possible to remain in the state of Wudhu. In the Hadith, we are informed that Wudhu is the weapon of a Mu’min. With this weapon, it is much easier for him to thwart the onslaughts of Shaytaan.
5. Try to remain in the company of the true friends of Allah Ta’ala. The true friends are those that, when you sit with them they remind you of Allah Ta’ala and their company produces a desire for the Aakhirah (hereafter). The company of such people is extremely effacious in imbuing the obedience of Allah Ta’ala, and in cultivating an abhorrence to sin.
6. There must surely be somebody who you have a lot of respect for, e.g. your mother, father, grand parents, Ustaadh or Shaykh. Consider if that person was present, would you indulge in the evil of masturbating. The very fact that the presence of such a person will deter you is sufficient to show that you do have the strength to abstain from this evil. When the presence of such a person will be a cause for controlling one’s desires, consider that fact that the Malaaikah (angels) are with you and are watching. Progress and consider that Allah Ta’ala is watching you. Do you not feel ashamed of His presence whereas you feel ashamed of the presence of a human being. Is this the degree of respect that Allah Ta’ala deserves?
May Allah Ta’ala save you and every Ummati from this evil, Aameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
source :http://www.islamcan.com/youth/how-to-stop-masturbation.shtml
